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Thoughts and leadership game changers from Merge Lane
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As I mentioned in my last post, I’m in the process of writing a book and starting a podcast. I’ve been asking for feedback more than usual. As I share things on this blog and elsewhere, I’d like you to know that I welcome and crave feedback. I have found that I receive more helpful feedback when I share some context upfront. In case this will help you focus your feedback or your process for asking others for feedback, I thought I’d share what I’ve been sending:
I welcome feedback.
I am asking for your opinion because I deeply value it.
I want you to see my request as an invitation rather than an obligation.
I feel amply supported. I don’t feel that I “need” any response from you. It is helpful for me to simply share my work with you even if you never read/listen to it or reply.
I would like you to respond if, when, and when you feel inspired and able to do so within your own “healthy” parameters.
I value your feedback, even when it is deeply hurtful to hear. I will respond if and when I feel able to do so within my own “healthy” parameters. I imagine I will always want to respond to your feedback. I will do my best to balance this with my overall 2023 life goal of achieving an average level of inspiration of 8 on a scale of 8-10 within my “healthy” parameters.
I am open to receiving feedback in any way that feels “easy” for you. Receiving feedback during spontaneous/already scheduled conversations, directly on the Google Docs I share, via email, or via recorded asynchronous communication via Marco Polo or recorded files from Zoom, etc. feels easiest for me at the moment. Making advance commitments or adding more to my schedule feels the hardest for me.
High-level comments like "This doesn't make sense to me", "I don't like this story,” and "You need to talk more about <y> here” are most helpful for me.
Many of the lessons I’d like to share are drawn from my personal experiences. I am nervous about sharing too many personal details. I feel unsure as to where, when, and if I should share certain details.
Many of the lessons I’d like to share have also been drawn from my relationships with others. I am nervous about unintentionally hurting or embarrassing those people.
I am scared that the response/comments/feedback/repercussions of sharing my story broadly will dampen my creative inspiration.
I welcome feedback on this document and on my approach to this entire process.
The “Magic Genie Fallacy” phenomenon, in which people start to believe that they need someone else’s magic advice to propel themselves forward, can be counterproductive to both the lamp seeker and the lamp possessor.
Read more ➞I would like to publicly thank my mom for sending a cool and collected text message after her recent accident. That simple message gave me hope that offering kindly candid feedback can, in fact, improve relationships, including the one I have with my mom.
Read more ➞Some of my biggest accomplishments and happiest moments have stemmed from a feeling of discomfort. I am going to publicly commit to staying out of my comfort zone for at least six weeks.
Read more ➞I allowed myself to include all of my “ridiculous” wants and aspirations on my list of 2023 goals, one of which was “finding a coach and co-collaborator who would agree to hold meetings from the chairlift.” Believe it or not, I was actually able to manifest that.
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